Love Always Wins…Especially for Writers
Trauma, grief and struggle is such a common occurrence that you’d think we have the tools to acknowledge and heal. But we just don’t and for some of us – we haven’t even recognized our emotions. Before I dive into receiving love and writing – let’s define what trauma really is. Trauma can stem from any situation that was so overwhelming, coping is out of reach. Grief, dangerous situations, physical stress or struggle of any kind all can fall under trauma. Most of us are lost when trying to heal from it and the easiest thing to do is hide or isolate ourselves. That only makes it worse. Fear, guilt, shame takes over and drives isolation and the result is– broken relationships with ourselves and others. I’ve seen it too many times – but I have also personally experienced and seen with others that is receiving love after trauma, major stress or grief is possible. Why receiving love is important for writers may confuse you. After all, don’t all the best writers write from a place of a broken heart? Not necessarily.
What’s even better is when you do…you begin to write from a completely different place. One that can help you draw closer to your readers – whether non-fiction or fiction – and go deeper, offering hope and happiness to all who find your books.
When we are isolated, anxiety can become unbearable and oddly, we end up becoming comfortable in our aloneness. Sometimes, in order to protect our fragile feelings, our brains continue to be in the fight or flight mode, wired to attack anyone who wants to get too close. The wall of isolation kept people at arm’s length in my own life for many years after my own trauma, including my husband.
While isolating ourselves is not healthy, we have the ability to turn this inside out and use being alone to reconnect inward, find help when we need it and explore our true strength and the power to love again. After all, love always wins when we let it in.
Writing Through the Pain
As a writer and someone who has been traumatized or overwhelmed by something that you cannot cope, it is very important to heal and find your strength. After all, your writing needs to reflect words that captivate, inspire, and offer a new, refreshing perspective. Our characters, though they are influenced by our own experiences, need to have their own unique personalities.
Let’s learn more about how trauma works and how we can heal to be at our best.
“Just be nothing darling, just be.” – Just Be: How My Stillborn Son Taught Me to Surrender
Trauma Stays in Our Bodies
The very cells of our bodies have memories. The physiological shift that tells our minds to be ready for fight or flight, is felt as agitation, irritability, sleep issues, anxiety, flashbacks – the list goes on and on.
Because trauma is so prevalent in our world today, surviving trauma calls for us to forge a NEW path to heal it in life –that can unleash our true selves and the love waiting for us to receive. This is when people grow through their pain. You simply must feel to heal, but it is more than just that. Healing pain not just requires the power of love, but also be WILLING to receive that love. So, it’s not just about giving to others – but to receive love also heals us and our families and our communities. Accept that hug, that meal from a friend, the hand that reaches to hold yours and that compliment. Receiving this kind of love is one of the strongest moves you can make and this can be a doorway through to being able to share your story.
Writer's Tip: Making the decision to allow love to heal us as a writer gives our words power and meaning, strength and purpose whether you are writing poetry, non-fiction or fiction. #writingtips Click To Tweet
“Speaking up, sharing our story and our truth to receive help stems from a place of love because this is when we are open to RECEIVE.” Lindsay Gibson, Just Be Guide: Steps to Healing Trauma
The benefits of telling our stories are twofold:
- We build more trusting connections with others and within ourselves as we receive love.
- It helps us to reconnect our bodies and mind – reclaiming the power that we once lost.
In the summer of 2015, my little two month old daughter Layla taught me this great lesson. I was suffering from postpartum depression from a traumatic pregnancy and I could not connect to this tiny baby. With tenderness and love in her eyes, she reached up to touch my cheek while nursing, during one of the most frightening panic attacks that I had ever experienced– when the collective of life traumas and complicated grief had finally pushed me up against my final wall. That moment changed my life. Her touch was exactly what I needed to realize how much I needed to choose life again and stop running. I made a new choice that day. A choice that we both needed and by receiving her love, I softened to this place of understanding.
A choice that you can make too. A choice that gives you the breath you need to choose forward with power and clarity. Reclaim your story and OWN it, then see it in a new and powerful way – with compassion that will lead you to trust, love and from a place of wholeness.
Bottom line – healing takes courage. It also requires trust, and this makes trauma survivors feel vulnerable – which is the hardest thing to be. However, we need to do this in order to process the event, let go and live from a place of openness where sharing our stories and retelling it from a place of love instead of fear ultimately brings us back to a vital, whole life.