Love Paints the Way – Part IV
Moment of Truth
Rebecca woke up on Christmas morning with a heaviness in her heart. After calling her boss, she felt so low and the rest of the evening was spent trying to figure out why? Her mother made a wonderful meal, the storm was fun to watch – but she just wasn’t feeling the holiday cheer. Sitting down for some tea with her dad later on in the evening was what finally got her to understand everything she was feeling inside. Parts of her conversation with him was on repeat in her mind.
“Rebecca…I know you have tried all through dinner to be happy for your mother, but we both see right through that plastered smile. When your boss called, you looked really pale after. A reaction that would seem as if he fired you.”
“No dad, just the opposite. He needs me to come back to the office tomorrow. I guess I am the only one in the company who can take on this new assignment. There is a new division opening in California and he needs me to set up a lot of things. Then needs me to launch it all. I didn’t even know about this new division until now.” Rebecca took a big breath and sighed it out. “Sounds like an interesting asset to the company. They are going to be…”
Her dad gently cut in. “It sounds as though your boss just asked you to cut your much needed vacation short by six days and come back to work. That’s what it sounds like to me.”
When he stated it like that, it made Rebecca pause before answering. When Jeff explained to her what what going to happen in California and the company’s goals, it sounded rather exciting. He certainly had a rush to the tone of his voice and the compliments to her were non-stop. It felt good to be recognized as one of his most crucial assets to the team and in a way, she felt proud to be so trusted. While her head agreed with her pushy boss, her heart and stomach did not. Looking back to the conversation, Rebecca remembered how much her stomach twisted into knots and her heart raced. What really stood out to her now was, how easily she ignored all that and told her boss she would be there at 8:30 a.m. sharp the day after Christmas. It was like she answered him in a trance and now she was out of it, reflecting on how controlled she really felt. What was worse, she felt tension begin to form in her head and neck. As her heart raced in response, she noticed that she was holding her breath. Have I always done this? Rebecca wondered as she blew her breath back out and proceeded to take slow, long breaths to steady her heart.
Episode 9: Push Past Busy
Reflection of Truth
Pushing the memory of the day before out of her mind, Rebecca shook her head and knew it was time to start Christmas. Getting out of bed proved to be much harder than she anticipated. The sun was gleaming off the snow and shining brightly into her windows. Her muscles were stiff and head was pounding a bit. Hope she wasn’t getting sick again. She didn’t sleep well and it wasn’t cause of the winds from the snowstorm that was pounding on her windows, it was the storm inside her heart.
Turning on the bathroom lights, Rebecca noticed the window to the bathroom was so frozen with ice that she couldn’t see out it. One of her most favorite things about her bathroom at home was being able to look out the window and into the rolling trees on the mountain that her parent’s house was. She turned on the water to let it warm up and went back into the bedroom to pick out her outfit for the day. A nice red, cashmere sweater and soft pare of leggings would work great for the snowy Christmas day.
She took a nice long shower, enjoying the hot water against her skin and the lovely smells of sweet smell of toasted almond and juicy cherries from her soap that was soaking into the steam. She felt much better after the stepped out and all her aches were gone. Wrapping a big fluffy towel around her, she took a hand towel to get the steam off the mirror. When she finally looked at herself, she saw something different for the first time in years. Sure, she saw her brown hair and green eyes and all the features of herself – but that wasn’t what she was looking at. What suddenly had grabbed her attention, was the fact that she was looking at the Rebecca that has been lost for so long. She was looking at the real Rebecca…the Rebecca that is silently screaming at her to pay attention to.
And it felt so good.