“The more your value your time, the more value it will bring.”
Today is Monday, a new day and a new week. Most people cringe at the thought of Monday as it is the beginning of a long work week for most. For moms who stay at home, they too might sigh a big breath getting up on Monday mornings as it is a long week ahead, tackling the endless tasks at home and the all the activities for the kids. We open our calendars with a bit of anxiety, looking at everything we need to get done and wondering how those things will get done. No matter which way you cut it, Monday’s can be really rough. But do they have to be? Perhaps Monday’s can be easier to face, if we learn to value the precious moments of time a bit more.
It is normal for most of us to look at our responsibilities and worry if we can handle it all, but do we look at our calendars and think about the value of our time and what we should do versus what we need to do? Are we making room for what we are being called to do? More importantly, are we able to focus on anything beyond our outer world responsibilities with the time we are given? Yes, we can.
On this particular Monday, February 20, 2017 it is my brother Derek’s 36th birthday. Last week, my mom forwarded me a text from him in which he quoted:
“Stress, no matter the type, occupies your mind and energy. When outside forces control you and your time, it will lead to greater concerns. One will then no longer live as they wish and their time becomes compromised with drained energy. So, it all boils down to leveraging time because life is not given to us here on earth, time is. It is how we choose to fulfill our time which will define us and make us whole.” – Derek Mirabilio
Reading his words, I feel a burst of gratefulness for the wisdom of my older brother and even more so on his special day. We all have different views on faith, however for me, I align with Derek’s viewpoint that we are not given life as we came from life and when we die, we continue on with life. Therefore, the gift of life is time. Regardless of what you believe, time here on earth is the ONLY non-renewable source. Once it is gone, we cannot get it back.
As a trauma survivor, this had me think some more. In my, Journal Back to Joy, writing series, I guide you through with some tools to be able to choose joy back into your life to renew your vitality and happiness with grief. For me, when I first started working on clearing the toxic thoughts away so I was able to make this choice, it was really hard for me to grasp just how to do that. It took many tries for me to do this and I still have to start over sometimes and try again. But here is a way that can help you look at the ability to do this or not, even deeper and that is with the words shared above by my brother.
When you are suffering with sadness, you may not even care if you let time slip away. Many people in grief don’t even notice that the time is moving past them and at a fast speed. Most of us don’t want to live this way, but when you lose someone or something you love, you just don’t see the value of your time anymore. Thoughts like: “How do I live without them?” seems to swallow up your time.
Your time is valuable. What you feel now and how you respond to your grief now, will change years down the road. You will wake up one day and reflect back to how you have been living since grief overwhelmed you. Perhaps then you will realize that time is wasted in sorrow and cannot be given back.
Do you need time in the beginning of your grief to slow down and perhaps let time go? Yes of course. Loss is something we ALL will suffer within our lifetimes and to take time to work through it is necessary in the beginning. The pain is so intense that shutting down in order to cope is healthy as it is your way of protecting yourself. But when sadness becomes chronic, unprocessed emotions and fearful thinking that robs your vitality and time, then what? Then you are left with two choices: you can stay in that place of sorrow, ignoring everything and everyone around you OR you get up and choose life again.
No matter where you are in your grief journey, whether it just happened or it is years later, we can all reflect on the value of time. Pull out some paper and begin to write what you feel about that statement: the value of time. Or you can simply open a discussion on this with a close friend or therapist. Once you remind yourself of the importance of the time we have on this earth, you will soon remind yourself the value of YOU.
You are here for a purpose and for a reason. Before grief opened her door to you, you were on a path. And the grief is part of that journey now and you are still moving through life trying to figure it all out. Your path has many detours, including loss that makes life more challenging and seems like a detour. So ask yourself, will you stay at the crosswalk of that detour or will you make that choice to move forward and capture your time with intention?
Being conscious of how valuable your time on earth is will help you make that first move. It can help you re-evaluate what it is most important to you. Your values, your self-worth and your time are all necessary parts of the life path you are on and no matter what you’ve lost, that never goes away.
So how does the importance of time stand against the hardships in your life? Ask yourself: what steps can I take now to reorganize my TIME in order to move FORWARD with my life so I can choose joy again? Will I make a choice to live with more joy intentionally?
Renewing the value of time within yourself will soften your heart to love again and to love the time your are given.
Taking the time to send love your way,